PATRIOTS GO UNDEFEATED IN 1ST WEEK OF SEASON
BALLPARKHOPPER IS ON YOUTUBE
MODERN DAY BIRDS AND BEES
A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was i born?” The father answered, “Well son, i guess one day you will need to find out anyway!”
Your mom and I first got together in a chat room. Then i sat up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where you mother agreed to do a download from my hard drive.
As soon as i was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall and it was too late to hit the delete button. Nine months later a little pop-up appeared and said, “You’ve Got Male!”
Laughter is the best medicine. Have a blessed week.
WHAT’S THEIR FAVORITE HYMNS?
There are so many music fans. I am one myself. Have you ever wondered what certain titles would have as their favorite hymns. Enjoy this list of people and what their favorite hymn should be. And don’t forget to check out the speed list below.
Dentists: Crown Him With Many Crowns
Weathermen: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractors: The Church’s One Foundation
Tailors: Holy, Holy, Holy
Golfers: There’s A Green Hill Far Away
Politicians: Standing On The Promises
Optometrists: Open My Eyes That I Might See
IRS Agent: I Surrender All
Gossips: Pass It On
Electricians: Send The Light
Realtors: I’ve Got A Mansion Just Over The Hilltop
Massage Therapists: He Touched Me
Doctors: The Great Physician
For those driving on the highway…
At 45 MPH: God Will Take Care Of You
At 55 MPH: Guide Me, Oh Lord
At 65 MPH: Nearer My God To Thee
At 75 MPH: Nearer Still Nearer
At 85 MPH: This World Is Not My Home
At 95 MPH: Lord, I’m Coming Home
Over 100 MPH: Precious Memories
Have a blessed week. Stay Tuned for exciting news on the audio-books for the BIRDIE series.
THE VOICE OF BIRDIE
I am so excited to introduce you to the voice of Birdie, Ms. Carrie Douglas. She is the audio-book narrator that is bringing Birdie to life. Audible, Amazon, and iTunes will have this available in February. Stay tuned because the whole series will be available this next year (2020) in audio-book.
Carrie is from the Midwest and lives there with her family. She is a dog-lover and has a golden retriever. Besides becoming the characters in some great books, she enjoys hiking, cooking, and playing card and board games with her family.
I asked Carrie why she decided to become a narrator and she replied, “I work in the education field teaching students how to read and i was inspired after seeing a former colleague do professional narrations. When i had done several recordings of my own, i was encouraged by others to pursue professional narrations.”
She enjoys reading mystery, fantasy, romantic comedy, and occasionally horror stories. Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight Saga is one of her favorites. “I thoroughly enjoy vampire/werewolf story-lines, which is why i love Birdie so much,” she says. John Green and Thomas Harris are also favorites of hers.
I asked Carrie why she thought people would like Birdie and she replied, “Birdie is suspenseful and full of unexpected twists and turns. The story keeps readers on their toes. There is definitely never a dull moment in the plot. Character personalities are relatable, yet i enjoyed the mystery behind each one of them. Furthermore, i appreciate how tasteful the love story is written, specifically the sexual encounters among the characters.”
When i listened to Carrie’s demo of Birdie when auditioning narrators, I knew she was the voice of Birdie. As an author you live and breath your characters onto paper, but when you hear the voice that matches your writing, there is no doubt. I’m excited to get Birdie out on audio-book and even more excited for the listeners to hear Carrie as the voice of Birdie. Mark your calendars, February 2020. Birdie on Audible, iTunes, and Amazon.
Remember, books are better than TV because, if you fall asleep, you don’t miss the ending. Stay tuned to meet the narrator of Rakshasi and the cover artist for all the audio-books. Have a blessed New Year!
MEN OF STEAL
via MEN OF STEAL
PASTOR’S BUSINESS CARD
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. He took out a business card and wrote, “Revelations 3:20” on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to the back was this cryptic message, “Genesis 3:10”.
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins ‘Behold i stand at the door and knock..’ Genesis 3:10 reads, ‘I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for i was naked.’
Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones?
A cheerful heart is good medicine (Proverbs 17:22)
HOW THE HUMAN RACE BEGAN
A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race begin?”
The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.”
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. “How did the human race begin?” The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.”
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?”
The mother answered, “Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.”
YOU DON’T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE YOU GROW OLD, YOU GROW OLD BECAUSE YOU STOP LAUGHING!
The Duck & The devil
There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods but could never hit a target. He started to get discouraged and headed back to the house for dinner.
As he was walking back he saw Granny’s pet duck. Just for the heck of it he let the slingshot go and hit the duck in the head and killed it. He was shocked and sorrowful.
In a panic, he hid the dead duck in a wood pile but he noticed his sister was watching. She had seen it all but she said nothing.
After lunch the next day, Granny said, “Sis, let’s wash the dishes.” But Sis replied, “Granny, John said he wanted to help in the kitchen.” Then she whispered in his ear, “remember the duck?”
So John did the dishes.
Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Granny said, “Sorry but i need Sis to help make supper.” Sis just smiled and said, “Well that’s all right because John told me he wanted to help.” She whispered again, “remember the duck?” So she went fishing and John stayed to help.
After several days of John doing his chores and his sisters he finally couldn’t stand it any more. He went to Granny and confessed that he had killed the duck. Granny knelt down, gave him a hug and said, “Honey, i know what happened. I was standing at the window and i saw the whole thing. But because i love you, i forgave you. I was just wondering how long you were going to let your sister make a slave of you.”
Thought for the day:
Whatever is in your past and whatever you have done…God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen your whole life and He wants you to know that He loves you. He’s wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave out of you.
It is by God’s grace and mercy that we are saved.
Have a blessed week!
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